3 Tips for Handling “You Just Don’t Get It”

3 tips for addiction recovery

3 Tips for Handling “You Just Don’t Get It”

3 tips for addiction recovery
Let Me Try to Explain

The gap in understanding. Everyone faces it from time to time. The realization that someone just doesn’t get it. That time when you revealed your darkest secret or said some truly awful thing about yourself and another person thought you were joking. And thought it was really funny.

You can come up against that gap all the time in addiction and recovery, especially if you have a dual diagnosis. You’ll find yourself facing someone who doesn’t think that depression, anxiety, drinking, addiction (pick one) is a real problem. You just need to toughen up or need some moral fiber. Or you’re faced with the sheer thoughtlessness of a person who hasn’t faced such a situation or doesn’t know what to say in one.

It’s not your job to make other people understand, but you do have to deal with them. How?

Here are three tips for dealing with people who don’t get it:

  • Learn. What someone says something, it tells you a lot more about him or her than it does about you. Use that new knowledge as you move forward in recovery.
  • Teach. Are you able to take a moment, step back and explain? You may not be able to and that’s OK. But if you are faced with a teachable moment and you can use it, give it a try. You may give someone a whole new perspective on drugs or alcohol or what to say about them.
  • Remember. Was there a time you didn’t get it, maybe when you were using? Everyone tried to tell you the same thing. Maybe a doctor or therapist tried to explain why you did what you did, but you would have none of it. Think about how it felt on the other side of that gap. What would you have someone say to you then, to make you understand about addiction?

Each of these tips can give you a bit of distance. They can help you frame your recovery. You’re taking the steps you need to take and making changes. How other people react to that—good or bad—shouldn’t matter.  But understanding a bit more about others can bring you some more perspective.