Making Amends and Securing Ongoing Recovery

Making Amends and Securing Ongoing Recovery

There was a blog in the Huffington Post recently addressing the issue of amends. Speaking of active addictive behavior the writer described himself as one who didn’t take responsibility for his actions, who was subject to the thoughts of others for his understanding of self, thereby leaving himself vulnerable to the opinions of others. He wrote about when he began to make amends and take responsibility for his actions:

“I began to see myself in more generic terms: as a human, prone to error, but doing my best. From this perspective, I can begin to have compassion for my predicament. After all, being human is difficult. And I can begin to have forgiveness for myself; I don’t want to be a bad person, but, like everyone else, I’m imperfect, so I make mistakes.”

(Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kevin-griffin/buddhist-addiction-recovery-step-9_b_958708.html)

For the last two decades, researchers have been focusing on how forgiveness and amends and how they relate to healing, emotional, physical and psychological health. In the 12 Step programs, Steps 8 and 9 are based upon the addict’s ability to recognize and admit wrongdoing to others and to make restitution where ever possible.

Holding resentments and anger toward others is a way of avoiding making amends and places an enormous strain upon one’s psyche and physical health. Resolving those feelings shifts one’s focus, frees the body’s energy, and allows the mind to focus on living here and now with openness toward future growth.

Research shows that making amends involves other processes as well. The addict works diligently to remove the obstacles by engaging in the earlier steps such as taking a personal inventory and openly admitting that inventory to another.

Through that process, the addict begins to release the shame and guilt related to the past and opens him or herself to moving deeper into personal behavior that harmed ones self or others. It allows the addict to recover from addiction.

With this new awareness of personal responsibility comes consciousness and mindfulness. Mindfulness encourages forgiveness of self and others and allows the addict to:

• Promote further psychological healing and positive change.
• Improve physical and mental health (reduces physical and emotional stress).
• Restores a personal sense of power.
• Brings the addict back into the larger group.

(Source: http://www.apa.org/international/resources/forgiveness.pdf)

The act of making amends, of being honest about our past, doesn’t change the past. But it does release the addict from the bondage of the past. Amends come in many forms such as direct, face to face amends, living amends (a change in behavior), or other types of action amends exemplified by volunteering, writing a letter, or helping care for a family member. The opportunity for the addict to come to resolution with his or her past can be experienced as liberating.

It should be remembered that approaching Step 8 and 9 is not to be done hastily or spontaneously. These two steps require discussion, planning and reflection. The practice of Step 8 and 9 is indeed not limited to members of 12 Step programs, as the benefits are universal.