Step 10 is incredibly important for me and my recovery. It’s a daily reprieve helping me to keep my side of the street clean and preventing resentments from building up over time. It provides balance to my life and takes the ego and pride out of things. If we can’t keep looking at ourselves, we won’t be able to continue growing spiritually.
My sponsor has me take a daily inventory from page 86 of The Big Book. After answering the questions, I can see if I owe anyone an amends or if there is an area I need to work on. I pray to God to guide me with what corrective measures need to be taken and to forgive me for my wrongdoing. Honestly, I find it very humbling when I hear another person own their wrongdoing, and it encourages me to do the same. I hope that just as I was inspired to do so, it inspires someone else to take responsibility for their actions. Over the years, I have become comfortable owning up to my stuff even when I am in the wrong.
For me, one of the beneficial aspects of this step is being able to identify when I am starting to feel resentful towards someone. In the past, I would really struggle sticking up for myself. It would take weeks of tiny things building up until I finally had enough, and I would explode – sometimes on more than one person. Working Step 10 daily allows me to be aware of the small incidents upsetting me to begin with. From there I can talk to my sponsor and pray about it, then do all I can to improve the situation before it gets any farther.
The alcohol and drugs weren’t the root of my problems, but rather it was my selfish and self-centered ways. Therefore, it is an ongoing process of learning and growing in my spirituality, my relationship with God, and my relationship with myself. It is crucial to remain teachable in life because there will always be more to learn. Step 10 challenges me to continuously grow and persevere while also changing my outlook and attitude for each new day.