How Does Letting a Newly Sober Addict Dictate Their Treatment Set Them up to Fail?
Keeping a child or loved one comfortable at the beginning of their recovery is an understandable concern for family members to have. But what happens when that comfort comes at the expense of their chances to achieve lasting sobriety? While the concept of empowering an addict in their recovery is important, giving someone too much control early on can do more harm than good When we visit a medical professional, do we ask them for a variety of choices regarding which antibiotic to take? Or do we rely on their professional abilities to make the best possible choice regarding our treatment methodology? Recovering from addiction is quite similar. While there are a variety of different philosophies surrounding what makes successful addiction treatment, one thing is for sure – letting someone who is emotionally and mentally sick dictate the terms of their treatment is setting them up for failure. When we expect newly sober addicts to make the healthiest possible decisions for their recovery, we are asking them to do the job of professionals – and putting them in a position to relapse.
Addiction Resides In the Mind
At this point, you would have to search far and wide to find a medical professional that disputes the concept of addiction as a disease. (For the scholarly perspective, check this out) This is good news – your child or loved one is not a “bad person”. Instead, they suffer from a chronic, medical disorder. Like other chronic disorders, it is treatable with regular maintenance and attendance. But it is not something that can be “cured” with a pill or single therapy session. This isn’t meant to dampen spirits – recovery is absolutely possible. It’s important to have a grasp of what addiction means though, in order to appropriately address it.
Because addiction is a brain issue, it hijacks the addict’s reward center and heavily influences the sense of perception. Why is this relevant in an article about newly sober addicts choosing their own treatment?
When an individual is dealing with an issue that affects their cognitive functions, their ability to make decisions and act in their own best interest is generally comprised. Need some evidence? Look at how addicts act in active addiction. Expecting someone who is newly sober to direct their treatment is similar to telling a child that has never driven before to get behind the wheel of a car. They haven’t yet acquired the skills to do what is being asked of them successfully – not because of a moral shortcoming, but because they are still learning this early on in recovery. Failing to recognize this sets them up for failure.
Trying To Take the Easier, Softer Way
One of the signature traits of an addict is trying to take the easier softer way. We hate getting uncomfortable. More than that, we try to avoid it at all costs (part of why we love drugs and alcohol!). In early sobriety, the way we think and feel has not changed much since active addiction. This is because we still have a lot of internal work to do when it comes to forming new neural connections and behaviors in our sobriety. Putting a young person in the position to make healthy, balanced decisions in the beginning of their recovery – especially when they are the one seeking professional help – is a dangerous move that sets them up for relapse.
Anyone working in the addiction and recovery field can confirm that more often than not, addicts will choose the easier, softer way, in the beginning of their recovery. Because of this, any luxuries and pleasures offered them are going to sound a lot more appealing than the promise of deep, internal work – or evidence of a methodology that leads to sustained recovery. For an addiction professional, this is a warning sign – it is easy to see that perhaps the individual has not been able to stay sober because of this type of thinking.
Long-term recovery takes consistent maintenance and some effort. While it does not need to be an unpleasant experience, it will always take a bit of work.
Being Set Up For Relapse
When someone seeks professional help for an issue, there is an admission that they have been unable to solve the problem independently. There are a lot of options when it comes to getting sober. There are a number of philosophies, approaches, and methods inside the world of treatment, recovery communities and sober livings. And there are addiction professionals for a reason. Doesn’t it make sense to let the professionals do what they are trained to do?
This is not to say that many young, newly sober addicts do not mean well. They may also have every intention to stay sober. The issue is that their ability to make healthy, recovery focused decisions is still developing. That’s why they’re seeking treatment in the first place. If they are given the ability to dictate the terms of their treatment, they are being allowed to set themselves up for relapse.
If Their Thinking Worked, They Wouldn’t Need Treatment
The simplest way to sum this concept up is with a single sentence. If their way, on their terms, worked, they would not need treatment in the first place. Unfortunately, this sentiment seems to get forgotten rather frequently. While remaining positive and hoping for the best is the right attitude to take, expecting a newly sober addict to have already regained their full powers of cognition is an unrealistic expectation. If we had the ability to deal with our addiction on our own, there would be no need for 12 step programs, rehabs, detoxes, counselors or sober livings.
The late Albert Einstein once said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them”. Anyone getting sober has to participate in their own recovery. In the beginning, though, let the professionals guide their path so that they can build a healthy enough foundation and steer clear of relapse.